People in the U.K. love drinking. I’m not talking about a glass of wine with dinner; the second five o’clock hits, Brits pour into the pub, throwing back drink after drink to wash down the pain of paying $20 for the two-minute train journey home.

Owing to this love of drinking, chains like Wetherspoons began opening around the country. These pubs became successful — and soon, other brands joined in to create their own novelty pubs, many incorporating an absolutely interminable “2013 internet” sense of humor. Today, nearly every block in London has some pub where beers are paired with rock-climbing walls and signs that reference okay memes from six years ago. It’s a great country!

Given the omnipresence of these pubs, it only makes sense that someone would emerge to review them. That man is Jimmy, aka @deadpubs. On his TikTok page, Jimmy rates the best pubs that the U.K. has to offer — and it seems to be making him lose his mind.

@deadpubs A Swift One at… Brewdog Waterloo, SE1 7BH #waterloo #pubreview #londondeadpubs #london #londonpub #pubs #pubtok #pubculture #deadpubs #pints ♬ Healing frequency meditation, yoga, fortune-telling, mystery(1101507) - Shintaro Aoki

What sets Jimmy apart is his descriptions. While you might expect to hear a bar described as “cozy” or “vibrant,” Jimmy opts to characterize a BrewDog location as “a kind of infernal pint crèche for confused children and the wife-dodging salarymen they’ll one day become.”

He also rides the slide!

@deadpubs A Swift One at… The King’s Head, N4 2DR #properpub #finsburypark #londonpubs #london #pubtok #pubs #review #pubculture #londondeadpubs #pubreviews #londonpub #deadpubs #pubreview ♬ Solfeggio frequency healing(1297728) - Azuchi Takahashi

@deadpubs A Swift One at… Rose’s, SE18 6NE #deadpubs #pubtok #pubreview #pubreviews #londonpub #pubculture #londondeadpubs #review #londonpubs #london #pubs #woolwich ♬ Solfeggio frequency 432hz healing meditation(1400752) - Enokido

Jimmy’s whole account is devoted to these reviews, bringing his Herzogian approach to the most average of U.K. pubs. I’ll be honest, he doesn’t make drinking in the U.K. look very fun — then again, that’s probably why they’re drinking in the first place.

@deadpubs A Swift One at… The Nag’s Head, SW1X 8ED #deadpubs #pubtok #pubreview #pubreviews #londonpub #pubculture #londondeadpubs #centrallondonpub #review #londonpubs #london #pubs #winterwonderland ♬ Meditation. Spiritual Ambient(1299135) - shince music

Jimmy, keep up the good work — and if you’re looking for somewhere genuinely exciting to drink, maybe consider a different country.